London London London

Well, Just to annoy Andy....
Anyhow, one week into my new job in London. So time for some observations...

1. On the whole, people in London are ugly.
2. People in London who are ugly, think that by having a natty bit of facial hair/wacky 'designer' glasses (delete as appropriate) makes them into the most beautiful person in the world. Twats!
3. Food/Drink in London is overpriced and overrated.
4. London is badly polluted (yeah, I was as shocked as you).

So I can hear you crying, 'so how's it all really going'. Actually not too bad. Good team, good work, not a bad commute. It's just all the bad things about in London are kind of biggies. The worst thing is not being able to make it through a whole day without getting a splitting headache, which I have come to attribute to the shocking air quality. Although reading my latest copy of Men's Health (if you read it you don't need to do any exercise, fitness by osmosis - scientific fact), they had Bristol only just behind London in the air quality stakes.

To summarise; the work is hard, the team is cool, London is crap, the money is..... Yeah, I knew there was a reason for going there. Once I've paid off my debts I'll be getting a job in the middle of a nice green field. I wonder how much Wurzel Gummage earnt.

Once a month

Well, my blog seems to have turned into a once a month activity. I do promise this will change, but as I said in my last post, things have been kinda hectic.

In the last month I have been doing all manner of things associated with going contracting. The most time consuming task seems to have been thinking up a name for my new Limited Company. It's like trying to think of a good pub quiz team name, that also sound professional. No

My Wife is crap at wrestling but you should see her box Ltd

here!

Hopefully all those tasks are now in hand, and tomorrow is my last day at work. Despite saying I'm going to leave for several years, tomorrow is tinged with sadness and a little regret. At the end of the day it's a well paid job, close to home, flexible hours, and some (albeit the minority) of my workmates are all round good guys. Fuck, what am I doing! No, sorry, I forgot about the money. Not being greedy, but the debts of a 30 year old with two kids, paying for a mortgage, two cars, all the bills and a wife that works part time have all taken their toll over the last few years. I somehow got into the situation where what was coming in didn't cover what was going out. When I then considered that I'd been shafted with payrises and people of similar grades and skills are on a lot more within the company. As my mate Dave would say... QED.

Today, to cater for those who couldn't (be bothered) to come to my leaving drinks tomorrow, we went to the local Indian for lunch. You may think that an Indian for lunch is a weird idea, and it was strange, but it isn't as weird as the Indian we went to. Now our office is slap bang in the middle of a business park. A big one. There is no housing near us, no shops, and certainly no through roads. Yet next to our office, with no passing trade, and hidden from view, is an Indian restaurant. Surely, as we have speculated since moving to this office 6 months ago, a money laundering operation! On our arrival, the empty restaurant came to life. They dusted off the obligatory Indian music CD, found some menus and went into waiter mode. We were, as expected, the only diners over lunch. The food was good, although slightly luke warm, and it took a while to arrive. Almost as though they had to dial out for it. Hmmmm.......

Remiss

Well I must apologise. I have not posted for over a month. In my defence though, I do have an excuse. Well actually a have a few, and they are real gooduns.

Firstly It was Christmas. I was busy wrapping presents, decorating a tree and consuming too much food and drink. Then I did all of the aforementioned in reverse order. Nice!

I have also been busy finding myself a new job. Woohoo. I've been saying it for ages, and it's been quite a step as I'm now off to London contracting. No job security, no holiday pay, no sick pay. On the other hand more money, more money, more money. I'll probably fall flat on my arse and be begging for my old job back in 6 months, let's hope not though. This process did involve visits to London, technical tests, and old school interviews. Needless to say this was all moderately time consuming.

my final excuse is the most embarrassing. I forgot my Blog password. I guess that makes it quite secure if even I can't guess it. Anyway, after several days of trying to remember bingo!

I will post properly tomorrow, if anyone one wants something mildly entertaining to read I point you at Andy's mobile blog that he set up for his (and Dave, Richard and Robins') trecking and camping (hello ducky) weekend in Dartmoor. This went predictably and entertainingly wrong. Just goes to show that watching hours of Ray Mears doesn't guarantee success in such ventures.

That's weird

Was being forced to watch some crap American programme last week (Wifey had the remote), following Jessica Simpson (the one with the nice arse who played Daisy Duke) and her hubby. It's called Newlyweds I think, but this certainly isn't a plug.

In one part where Jess was particularly jealous of her hubby dancing with some hotties, she said to her mum that if he ever cheated on her she'd 'shoot his pecker off'. How they laughed! Fine, and an amusing moment for the fly-on-the-wall programme for all the ladies to have a giggle at (let's face it, it's only women who watch this crap). But it did occur to me, imagine if it was her hubby who was jealous, chatting to his dad over a beer.. 'If she ever cheats on me Dad I'm gonna shoot her Fadge off'. I can only imagine the backlash. No other comment to be made other than that's a weird double standard.

Jumping the Shark

A new term I learnt this week was 'Jumping the Shark' I read it on a forum that was discussing the current season of Lost, and people were suggesting that LOST had, in it's latest episode 'jumped the shark'.


My natural reaction was WTF? And being someone who hates not knowing things I started my Internet sleuthing...
apparently this term is fairly well known, although I think it might mainly be an American thing. It is widely attributed to the guys who run JumpTheShark.com. So what does it actuall mean I hear you cry. Well...

It's a moment. A defining moment when you know that your favorite television program has reached its peak.

So the next question is, what has jumping sharks got to do with that? Well it all refers to an episode of Happy Days where Fonzie, while watersking, jumps over a shark still wearing the trademark leather jacket. This was the moment that everyone realised that this show had peaked, and was now in it's decline.

Having learnt my new phrase and the origins behind it I could relax, until Friday that is. On Friday I settled down in front of the TV for an evening of relaxation when on came an old episode of The Simpsons, and what did Homer do in one short scene? Yep, while watersking he jumped a shark. I was able to smugly explain the gag to my wife, and felt vindicated that this moment had justified my web sleuthing earlier in the week. It also made me wonder how many jokes (Americana specific refernces) that we Brits miss out on. The Simpsons is already comedy classic gold, for our American cousins it must be even better.

Sports Personality

Well last night was the annual BBC Sports Personality of the year award. This annual event is usually somewhere between boring and awful. Sportsmen trying to be funny - it's just painful (and yes John Parrot that includes you, laughing at your own 'jokes' does not mean you are funny!). Last night the event was further hampered by the fact British sport is in such a piss poor state, and the fact that they now run the vote by phone in on the night.

On the shortlist of sporting excellence was;

Jenson Button - his 'achievement', to win the first Grand Prix of his career, yep - not win the title, just one race.

Monty Panesar - Don't get me started on Cricket again. What have we achieved in Cricket lately. Maybe a special award for best of a poor team...

Phil Taylor - Has been at the top of his game (darts in case you didn't know) for nearly 20 years, and as soon as they introduce a BBC GAME personality of the year, I'll be the first to vote for him.

Andy Murray - Now British number one tennis player, err congratulations, that's quite an achievement with all the competition. According to the blurb he also reached the fourth round at Wimbledon and the US Open and helped us beat the great sporting nation Ukraine in the Davis Cup. I'm guessing he left the event early last night after getting tired halfway in. I am losing the will to live just writing this.

I could go on, but I'm just depressing myself. This indeed is currently the state of British sport. I hope to God no other countries hear about this Sports Personality of the Year award. The BBC flaunt it like something to be proud of, is it just me that's embarrassed.

All is not lost though, as we do have some winners to celebrate. Joe Calzaghe for instance, the longest reigning world champion boxer who, with 42 victories in 42 fights this year inflicted a World title defeat on the favourite unbeaten American Jeff Lacy.


But did Calzaghe win? No. Did he stand a chance? According to the bookies who had him at 40-1, no! , last night the winner was......... Zara Phillips. Now Zara has actually achieved sporting success and deserved to be shortlisted, but in my opinion didn't deserve to win. This is the problem with the phone and text in system. Middle England (especially the 40Yr old+ females out there) love the Royal Family. It's a wonder Prince Phillip hasn't been nominated for "Spear Chucking" yet. And to think, there is talk of introducing Phone and Text voting in General Elections here. God help us. Maybe if Calzaghe appeared in Panto dressed as a woman and put on a silly voice then he might stand a chance of winning. Unfortunately he's too busy training, working hard and winning.

All in all I think Joe Calzaghe summed up the awards perfectly when commenting about never being on the shortlist before;

Does it bother me that I've not been put up? Of course not. At the end of the day, maybe it's because I'm a winner.

Friday

It’s Friday….

Which is good news for no other reason that it’s movie hour on Radio 5 with Mark Kermode. Kermode is a rare find, a critic whose opinion is actually worthwhile. You just have to either ignore the fact that he believes The Exorcist is the best film ever made, or admire the fact that in the company he keeps he is quite happy making and defending this assertion.

Of course the best film ever made is Casino. I know nobody will agree with me, the argument usually goes that Scorsese peaked with Goodfellas, and anyone who’s a fan of Casino would surely prefer his previous work (or Mean Streets for the real aficionados). While Goodfellas would certainly make my top 10, I am young enough not to have seen it at the cinema, whereas I did see Casino first at a beautiful Odeon in Bristol that unfortunately has since closed. I was at that age where I was in love with the cinema, the building, the architecture, the smell – the whole package (well, I still am actually, although the architecture of the local VUE cinema isn’t exactly Art Deco). Granted, the opening scene with the dummy in the car is terrible, but the dialogue more than makes up for it. Every scene could be shown as a short in it’s own right. The performances of DeNiro, Pesci and Stone have merited countless repeat viewings and will forever hold a sacred place in my heart.

I like Keromode as he is happy to give his personal opinion, rather than agreeing with his fellow critics just to be part of the club. So while we’ll never agree on the The Exorcist , I’ll continue to respect his opinion and look forward to 3:00PM on Fridays.

‘In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and to keep them coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose, and in the end, we get it all.’